we (me, vimi, jude n my mum) all had such a wonderful time this year at squires… everyone who came up was real great. i had a few chats wit most of the ppl. weather was alrite too … lucky for the sun to come out finally after all the rain we had… talkin bout rain its raining down here in london tonight again… i got fever after i got back.. the drive back down was a bit shorter coz there wasnt much traffic….
sorry i havent been posting up here that much this year coz i got really upset about something that someone here replied to a post of mine when i was depressed once… that did hurt me a lot coz this used to be a place i always used to come when i’m depressed n got most of the answers… if it was some one sensitive n really really depressed those words would have pusehed them over the edge. anywayz vimi used to keep everyone updated on me. but i’m gonna put all that behind me and start posting again, replying to posts sharing my experiences to help all the newbies struggling for answers n ppl who r lost… coz i’ve been lost for a long time n when u r lost everything around u seems so dark n there seems to be no way out… but when u get out of the darkness n look behind u feel as u’ve matured a lot n learnt so many lessons in life..
i feel great after my amputation…. feel really free… n i started going out to the park n playing football… n now i dont have to hold my hand while running all the time… i just love the feeling to run like that… i havent regretted it one since i’ve done it. its 5 weeks since i got it chopped off… i was lucky to get it done so quick… i made up my mind this march n was put on the waiting list… when i used to call them they sd that it’l take min 18 weeks.. but i really wanted to get it done soon so i spoke to my dr at the pain clinic n they wrote a letter to the surgeon. then they told me that i was classified as urgent on the waiting list. first they called me n gave me a date for the 14th of aug.. but after a few weeks i got another call n they sd there had been a cancellation n they gave me the date for the 27th of june… which was my birthday… it was a nice present… a new year for me… a new beginning…. i still get the same pain as before… but i always knew that i’ll still have the pain but i’m much much more happier than i’ve been for the last 7 yrs…
i’m going back to work tommorow. . it s almost 5 am but i couldnt get any sleep coz i was in so much pain this eve. my pain increases everytime it starts raining…. it s so weird… anyways i’m going back to my dr (dr. smith – kingston hospital, pain clinic) this friday to sort out my meds. she s a real good dr. i’m given up taking tramadol for the moment but still relying on pregabalin (750mg a day) n zopiclone (7.5mg) at night to sleep… i really want to try n stop taking zopiclone coz now 1 tablet doesnt seem to work for me anymore but i’m really scared of sleepless nights with pain… atleast b4 wit zopiclone i used to get a really good nights sleep. n b4 i started taking zopiclone i cant remember 1 good nights sleep that i’ve had. anyways… i’m gonna try getting back to sleep coz i gotta get up at 8.. i’m sure i would fall asleep by abt half 7 n be so knacked n be in more pain at work……
Oroginal Post, posted myself 10-12 years ago..